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| Oxymorons: Quotes & Sayings (356)
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Arts- My play was a complete success. The audience was a failure.
- Samuel Goldwyn, when told a script was full of old cliches: Let's have some new cliches. -- Samuel Goldwyn
- Samuel Goldwyn: What kind of dancing does Martha Graham do? Associate: Modern dancing. Samuel Goldwyn: I don't want her then, modern dancing is so old fashioned. -- Samuel Goldwyn
- The art of simplicity is a puzzle of complexity. -- Douglas Horton
Business- A verbal contract isn't worth the paper it's written on. -- Samuel Goldwyn
- Bookkeeper: Mr. Goldwyn, our files are bulging with paperwork we no longer need. May I have your permission to destroy all records before 1945? Goldwyn: Certainly. Just be sure to keep a copy of everything. -- Samuel Goldwyn
- Cheap is more expensive.
- Destroy the old files, but make copies first. -- Samuel Goldwyn
- Free advice is worth what you paid for it.
- I am busy doing nothing.
- I am offering 100% free information every day for as little as $$$ per month.
- I paid too much for it, but its worth it. -- Samuel Goldwyn
- I was always an independent, even when I had partners. -- Samuel Goldwyn
- If it's a Classified Ad, Why is it publicly published?
- If you don't risk anything, you risk even more. -- Erica Jong
- I'm broke but I'm rich.
- It's a bit too expensive.
- Minimum wage for a maximum loser. -- (from The Hot Chick movie)
- My unlimited credit run out.
- Some things in life are not for sale... unless for the right price. -- N. Haddad
- Spare no expense to save money on this one. -- Samuel Goldwyn
- The budget was unlimited, but I exceeded it. -- Donald Trump
- The building was pretty ugly and a little big for its surroundings. -- Steinbeck
- We had an unlimited budget and we have exceeded it.
- We're overpaying him, but he's worth it. -- Samuel Goldwyn
- You'd be surprised how much it costs to look this cheap. -- Dolly Parton
Change- Become a student of change. It is the only thing that will remain constant. -- Anthony J. D'Angelo
- Change is the only Constant.
- Have you lived in this village all your life? 'No, not yet'.
- I always wanted to be a procrastinator.
- I disagree with unanimity.
- I have a twin brother; he's identical, but I'm not.
- I used to be indecisive, but now I'm not sure.
- My identity lies in not knowing who I am.
- My life has a superb cast but I can't figure out the plot. -- Ashleigh Brilliant
- No matter where you go, there you are!
- On one hand, I'm indecisive; but on the other, I'm not.
- The end is just the beginning!
- The only certainty is that nothing is certain. -- Pliny the Elder
- The only thing I don't Procrastinate about is Procrastination.
- Tomorrow starts now. -- Ad campaign by Fransabank
Education- Be clear when you write and never use uncommon words... It is better to espouse elucidation and eschew obfuscation! (a humorous fumble-rule used by English teachers and professors when lecturing about proper writing techniques. Literally, the phrase means 'avoid ambiguity, adopt clarity'.)
- I am always ready to learn although I do not always like being taught. -- Winston Churchill
- I have never let my schooling interfere with my education. -- Mark Twain
Family- When people tell you how young you look, they are telling you how old you are. -- Cary Grant
- You got your momma's taste but you got my mouth. -- Ben Folds, in his song 'Gracie'
Fashion- A woman met a man walking along the street wearing only one shoe. 'Just lost a shoe?' she asked. He answered, 'Nope, just found one'.
- I never put on a pair of shoes until I've worn them at least five years. -- Samuel Goldwyn
- My girlfriend just curled her hair with her hair straighteners.
Food- I never eat before breakfast. -- W.C. Fields, referring to his drinking habit
- She used to diet on any kind of food she could lay her hands on. -- Arthur Baer, American comic and columnist
General- A blind man looks back into the future with the ear-splitting whispers of unconcealed ghosts thundering silently.
- A story told in silence.
- Ah, the good old times when we were so unhappy! -- French Saying
- All generalizations are wrong, including this one.
- Always be on the lookout for the obvious.
- Always remember you're unique.. just like everyone else!
- Anyone who isn't confused here doesn't really know what's going on.
- Australia is a pretty big continent.
- Bad becomes good when worse happens.
- Bad is never good until worse happens.
- Be here Now, when you can. -- Ron McIntosh
- Be realistic: Go for the impossible! -- Paulo Coelho
- Birthing a dawn to this endless night... -- [from the song 'Lies' by Evanescence]
- Complexity is not so complex after all.
- Don't Forget To Remember Me! -- Song by Carrie Underwood
- Drive slowly, we're in a hurry. -- Winston Churchill to his chauffeur
- Easy things don't come easily.
- Everything is so random there must be a pattern.
- Excuse me? I happen to be genuinely self-absorbed and deeply shallow. -- Fiyero Tiggular, Wicked musical
- Feels like the weight of the world... Like all my screaming has gone unheard... -- [from the song 'Weight of the World' by Evanescence]
- For you time will always wait. -- [from the song 'Hide' by Red]
- Give me a smart idiot over a stupid genius any day. -- Samuel Goldwyn
- Half the lies our opponents tell about us are not true. -- Sir Boyle Roche
- He has Van Gogh's ear for music. -- Billy Wilder
- How could I have burned paradise? -- song title
- I am a deeply superficial person. -- Andy Warhol
- I am easily satisfied with the very best. -- Winston Churchill
- I am easily satisfied with the very best.
- I came for leave.
- I can give you a definite perhaps. -- Samuel Goldwyn
- I can resist everything but temptation. -- Mark Twain
- I can't remember having a more memorable time.
- I didn't do anything wrong, and I won't do it again.
- I didn't keep score, but it could have been twenty.
- I feel the numbness around.
- I hate cliches because "They're a dime a dozen".
- I never said most of the things I said. -- Yogi Berra
- If there's one thing I can't stand, it's intolerance.
- I'm never Wrong!!! Once I thought I was wrong... but it turned out I was mistaken.
- I'm proud of my humility.
- I'm still not sure if I understand ambiguity.
- It is so disturbing... that it is beautiful.
- It was such a lovely day I thought it a pity to get up.
- It was the best of times. It was the worst of times. -- Opening sentence of the 'A Tale of Two Cities'
- It's eight o'clock, sir! - Why the devil didn't you tell me that before? -- Overheard in hotel
- It's simply hard...
- It's wrong to be always right.
- Life is full of uncertainties ... or I could be wrong about that?
- Man was predestined to have free will.
- My answer is "Maybe", and that's final...
- Never say Never again! -- [movie title]
- No one goes to that place anymore - it's always too crowded. -- Yogi Berra
- Nobody goes to Miami in the Winter. It's too crowded. -- Yogi Berra
- One fine day in the middle of the night, two dead men woke up to fight, back-to-back they faced each other, drew their swords and shot one another.
- One should never generalize.
- One step forward. Two steps backward.
- Perspective is in the eye of the beholder.
- Plan to be surprised. -- ['Dan in Real Life' movie]
- Prejudiced people are all alike.
- Rebel without a cause. -- (Movie Title)
- Remember the future. -- Tagline for the movie "Paycheck"
- Reporter: You say you've never made a picture before? Samuel Goldwyn: Yes, but that's our strongest weak point. -- Samuel Goldwyn
- Same old brand new excuse.
- Searching for the light under the sun!
- Simplicity is not a simple thing. -- Charles Chaplin
- Some people say that I'm superficial, but that's just on the surface.
- Tell them to stand closer apart. -- Samuel Goldwyn
- The beginning is always today. -- Mary Wollstonecraft
- The clock is two minutes ahead and one hour behind.
- The future is now.
- The golden rule is that there are no golden rules. -- George Bernard Shaw
- The good oxymoron, to define it by a self-illustration, must be a planned inadvertency. -- Wilson Follett
- The green bin is for non-recyclables.
- The heaviest baggage for a traveler is an empty purse.
- The next time I send a damn fool for something, I go myself. -- Samuel Goldwyn
- The other day, I saw my cat barking while the sun was freezing me up.
- The Right way is the Wrong way and the Left way is the Right way. (Driving directions)
- The saddest moment in a person's life comes but once.
- The trouble with our times is that the future is not what it used to be. -- Paul Valery
- The ultimate result of shielding men from the effects of folly is to fill the world with fools. -- Herbert Spencer
- The world is full of apathy, but I don't care.
- There is only one difference between a madman and me. I am not mad. -- Salvador Dali
- There's no such thing as non-existence.
- They say it's not as bad as they say it is.
- This page intentionally left blank. -- (Non-blank with the comment)
- Time won't give me time!
- To be simple is to be great. -- Ralph Waldo Emerson
- Two wrongs don't make a right, but three rights make a left.
- Walking but not moving... nowhere to go on this endless road...
- Walking up stairs gets me down.
- We are not retreating.. we are advancing in another direction.
- We must believe in free will. We have no choice. -- Isaac B. Singer
- You always find something in the last place you look.
- You are one of God's mistakes... -- [from the song 'Song to Say Goodbye' for Placebo]
- You're the dumbest smart person I've ever met. -- from the movie 'I, Robot'
- You've no idea of what a poor opinion I have of myself, and how little I deserve it. -- W.S. Gilbert
Government & Politics- A person who doesn't vote votes for the winner!
- A politician needs the ability to foretell what is going to happen tomorrow, next week, next month, and next year. And to have the ability afterwards to explain why it didn't happen. -- Winston Churchill
- A unified, neutral Germany? Given that nation's heritage, such a phrase may prove to be the oxymoron of the decade. -- Kevin M. Matarese, Fulda, West Germany; as seen in 'Letters', Time magazine, March 5, 1990, page 5
- An abstention is a vote for the winner!
- As famous as the unknown soldier.
- Don't worry about the war. It's all over but the shooting. -- Samuel Goldwyn
- If Roosevelt was alive, he'd turn over in his grave. -- Samuel Goldwyn
- It has been said that democracy is the worst form of government except all the others that have been tried. -- Winston Churchill
- The inherent vice of capitalism is the unequal sharing of blessings; the inherent virtue of socialism is the equal sharing of miseries. -- Winston Churchill
- The only new thing in this world, is the history you did not know. -- Harry Truman
- To conquer without risk is to triumph without glory. -- Pierre Corneille
- Waging war to get peace.
Health- A hospital is no place to be sick. -- Samuel Goldwyn
- A little pain never hurt anyone.
- Always go to other people's funerals, otherwise they won't come to yours. -- Yogi Berra
- Anyone who goes to a psychiatrist ought to have his head examined. -- Samuel Goldwyn
- Eyes without sight can still have vision.
- He lived his life to the end.
- He was dead... but he got better. -- ['Crank: High Voltage' movie]
- Hypochondria is the one disease I have not got.
- I was comfortable inside these wounds. -- [from the song 'Death of Me' by Red]
- I'd give my right arm to be ambidextrous.
- If I could drop dead right now, I'd be the happiest man alive. -- Samuel Goldwyn
- It's not that I want to kill Lois, I just don't want her to be alive anymore. -- Stewie Griffin
- Often it is fatal to live too long. -- Racine
- Rehab is for quitters!
- The first condition of immortality is death. -- Stanislaw Lec
- The scene is dull. Tell him to put more life into his dying. -- Samuel Goldwyn
- To Live is to Die. -- [song by heavy metal band Metallica]
- When I die, I hope to go to Heaven, whatever the Hell that is. -- Ayn Rand
- Who is the oldest inhabitant of this village? 'We haven't got one; we had one, but he died three weeks ago'.
Legal- After Donald Trump's stretch limousine was stolen and found undamaged a few blocks away; he said, 'Nothing was stolen. I had an honest thief.' -- International Herald Tribune, March 2, 1992, page 3
Mathematics- By definition, one divided by zero is undefined.
- Straight out of line.
- The 50-50-90 rule: Any time you have a 50-50 chance of getting something right, there's a 90% probability you'll get it wrong.
- The shortest distance between two points is how far apart they are.
- There are only three kinds of people; people who can count and people who can't.
- Why don't you pair'em up in threes? -- Yogi Berra
Recreation- A joke is a very serious thing. -- Winston Churchill
- Color television! Bah, I won’t believe it until I see it in black and white. -- Samuel Goldwyn
- Don't pay any attention to the critics; don't even ignore them. -- Samuel Goldwyn
- Every director bites the hand that lays the golden egg. -- Samuel Goldwyn
- Go see it and see for yourself why you shouldn't go see it. -- Samuel Goldwyn
- How come you did what I told you to do, when you know I don't know what I'm talking about. -- [Sherman Dreyer, quoting Samuel Goldwyn while Dreyer was later producing a syndicated T.V. show titled "Communism, R.M.E."]
- I want to go where the hand of man has never set foot. -- Samuel Goldwyn
- Staying awake to chase a dream. -- Muse (UK rock band) in their song 'Falling Away With You'
- The marvelous thing about a joke with a double meaning is that it can only mean one thing. -- Ronnie Barken
- This music won't do. There's not enough sarcasm in it. -- Samuel Goldwyn
- We take fun seriously.
- We want a story that starts out with an earthquake and works its way up to a climax. -- Samuel Goldwyn
- Who still watches TV on a TV anyway? -- Thomas Hardy
- Why should people go out and pay to see bad movies when they can stay home and see bad television for nothing. -- Samuel Goldwyn
Relationships- A man's silence is wonderful to listen to. -- Thomas Hardy
- A smile is a curve that sets things straight.
- Always be sincere, even when you don't mean it. -- Irene Peter
- As far as I'm concerned, treachery will sometimes bring loyalty into question.
- Cold as fire, hot as ice. -- Song by Britney Spears
- Did you just tell me I wasn't listening to you!
- Emptiness is filling me... -- [from the song 'Fade to Black' for Metallica]
- Everytime I see her, it just eats me inside out.
- For your information, just answer me one question! -- Samuel Goldwyn
- Gentlemen, for your information, I have a question to ask you. -- Samuel Goldwyn
- Good friends make good enemies.
- Hate That I Love You. -- song by Rihanna (ft Ne-Yo)
- He doesn't have much of a reputation or so I've heard.
- He has all of the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire. -- Winston Churchill
- I always advise people never to give advice. -- P. G. Wodehouse
- I always lie.. and that's the truth.
- I always truth.. and that's the lie.
- I am not sincere, even when I say I am not. -- Jules Renard
- I can resist anything, except temptation. -- Oscar Wilde
- I cried myself to sleep.
- I deserve respect for the things I did not do.
- I hate love...
- I hate you as much as I love you.
- I have learned silence from the talkative, toleration from the intolerant, and kindness from the unkind; yet strange, I am ungrateful to these teachers. -- Gibran Kahlil Gibran, Sand and Foam
- I have this nagging fear that everyone is out to make me paranoid.
- I keep telling myself that I am a pathological liar, but I am not sure if I believe it.
- I love you... me no longer!!
- I must be cruel only to be kind. -- William Shakespear
- I never liked you, and I always will. -- Samuel Goldwyn
- I see better when my eyes are closed, but heart is open.
- I wake up to dream about you.
- I wouldn't be paranoid if everyone didn't pick on me.
- If you don't love, you can't live; If you don't live, you can't love. -- Jason Benson
- If you fall and break your legs, don't come running to me. -- Samuel Goldwyn
- I'm burning slow on a pale blue flame... I'm so cold, consumed and tame... -- from the song 'Fuel for the Fire' by Ari Koivunen
- I'm not going to say, 'I told you so'.
- I'm not the type to say 'I told you so'. -- [from the song 'Goodbye For Now' by POD]
- In love you always win, even if you lose. -- Paulo Coelho
- Insanity is the only thing that keeps me sane.
- Love that I hate you.
- Maybe the bitterness will make you a bit sweeter. -- R.M.
- Melancholy is the pleasure of being sad. -- Victor Hugo
- My friends, there are no friends. -- Coco Chanel
- 'No comment' is a splendid expression. I am using it again and again. -- Winston Churchill
- Of course I can keep secrets. It's the people I tell them to that can't keep them. -- Anthony Haden-Guest
- Only when all who surround you are different will you truly belong. -- 'Little Man Tate' movie
- Our comedies are not to be laughed at. -- Samuel Goldwyn
- Our similarities are different. -- Dale Berra, son of Yogi
- Parting is such sweet sorrow. -- William Shakespeare
- People have one thing in common: they are all different.
- Samuel Goldwyn, when told his son was getting married: Thank heaven. A bachelor's life is no life for a single man. -- Samuel Goldwyn
- See the Mirror in your Eyes - See the Truth Behind the Lies -- [In & Out of Love by Armin Van Buuren ft. Sharon Del Adel]
- Seriously, you need to lighten up.
- She screams in silence. -- from 'She' song by Green Day
- Silence is the most beautiful noise in the world. -- 'The 4th Floor' movie
- So Close No Matter How Far... -- from 'Nothing Else Matters' song by Metallica
- So I say, "Live and let live." That’s my motto. Anyone who can't go along with that, take him outside and shoot the m@#$%^&*! -- George Carlin
- Some bachelors want a meaningful overnight relationship.
- Speak to me of love without a word.
- Take me to a place where sound and silence meet.
- The best way to find yourself is to lose yourself in the service of others. -- Mahatma Ghandi
- The coldest winter I ever spent was a summer in San Francisco. -- Mark Twain
- The cruelest lies are often told in silence!
- The hardest part of holding on is letting it go. -- [from the song 'Goodbye For Now' by POD]
- The statement below is true.
The statement above is false.
- Too bad Sponge Bob is not here to celebrate Sponge Bob not being here! -- Squidward
- Treat me like an angel and I'll be your little devil.
- We love each other even when we hate each other.
- We were like strangers who knew each other very well. -- from the movie Big Fish
- When a man brings his wife flowers for no reason, there's a reason. -- Molly McGee
- When Darkness prevails and Silence governs the place; only then I can See and Hear everything!
- When lies turn into truth... -- [from the song 'Frozen' by Within Temptation]
- Who can hear the Silent Screams?
- You are my cold sun.
- You need to wake up if you want to dream. -- Paulo Coelho
- You talk in circles when I need a straight line. -- from 'If Love is out of the Question' song by Celine Dion
- You Win, I Win, We Lose. -- Lyrics, Kenny Chesney
- Your love, my cage. My prison so pleasing... -- [from the song 'My Obsession' by Skillet]
- You're on my list of people that will never make any list of mine.
Religion- Christ was born in year 4 B.C.
- Evil isn't all bad.
- God closes doors nobody can close, and opens doors nobody can open!
- I die every day; I mean that brothers, just as surely as I glory over you in Christ Jesus our Lord. -- 1 Corinthians 15:31
- Lord give me patience.. right bloody now!
- Thank God I'm an Atheist.
- The first shall be last... and the last, first. -- from the Bible
- You are my sweetest sin!
Science- For NASA, space is still a high priority.
- He's ahead of his time.
- In the city today the temperature rose to 180 degrees. This sudden rise of temperature was responsible for the intolerable heat.
- In theory, there is no difference between theory and practice; but in practice, there is.
- Insomnia... the rest within restlessness.
- It isn't an optical illusion. It just looks like one.
- It's absolutely impossible, but it has possibilities. -- Samuel Goldwyn
- Let's be realistic and demand the impossible.
- Most bacteria have the decency to be microscopic. Epulopiscium fishelsoni is not among them. The newly identified one-celled macro-microorganism is a full .5 mm long, large enough to be seen with the naked eye. -- Described in the current Nature, 'It is a million times as massive as a typical bacterium.' - Time, March 29, 1993, page 25
- The A-bomb is dynamite. -- Samuel Goldwyn
- The best cure for insomnia is to get a lot of sleep. -- W.C. Fields
Skills- Always and never are two words you should always remember never to use. -- Wendell Johnson
- Brain: an apparatus with which we think we think. -- Ambrose Bierce
- By learning to obey, you will know how to command. -- Italian Proverb
- Chronoscopy is the observation and exact estimation of time. -- Exact estimation
- Common sense is not so common.
- Courage is what it takes to stand up and speak; courage is also what it takes to sit down and listen. -- Winston Churchill
- Do not put statements in the negative form.
And don't start sentences with a conjunction.
It is incumbent on one to avoid archaisms.
If you reread your work, you will find on rereading that a great deal of repetition can be avoided by re-reading and editing.
Never use a long word when a diminutive one will do.
Unqualified superlatives are the worst of all.
De-accession euphemisms.
If any word is improper at the end of a sentence, a linking verb is.
Avoid trendy locutions that sound flaky.
Never, ever use repetitive redundancies.
Also, avoid awkward or affected alliteration.
Last, but not least, avoid cliches like the plague. -- Great Rules for writing from William Safire in the New York Times
- Everyone writes on the walls except me. -- Said to be graffiti seen in Pompeii
- Exaggeration is a billion times worse than understatement.
- Half of being smart is knowing what you're dumb at.
- He talks right and runs left. -- Bob Dole, on Clinton's changing-political positions
- I always avoid prophesying beforehand, because it is much better to prophesy after the event has already taken place. -- Winston Churchill
- I distinctly remember forgetting that. -- Clara Barton
- I don't think anyone should write their autobiography until after they're dead. -- Samuel Goldwyn
- I have made mistakes, but have never made the mistake of claiming I never made one. -- James G. Bennet
- I have nothing to offer but blood, toil, tears and sweat. -- Winston Churchill
- I know that I know nothing.
- I must follow the people. Am I not their leader? -- Benjamin Disraeli
- I only know one thing: That I know nothing. -- Socrates
- I read part of it all the way through. -- Samuel Goldwyn
- I think I'm having deja vu all over again.
- I was dying to know that...
- If common sense is so common, why is there so many people with out it?
- If I look confused it's because I'm thinking. -- Samuel Goldwyn
- If you haven't made any mistakes recently, you must be doing something wrong. -- Paulo Coelho
- I'm willing to admit that I may not always be right, but I am never wrong. -- Samuel Goldwyn
- It usually takes more than three weeks to prepare a good impromptu speech. -- Mark Twain
- I've told you for the fifty-thousandth time, stop exaggerating.
- May I ask a question?
- Not only am I redundant and superfluous, but I also tend to use more words than necessary.
- Prepositions are not words to end sentences with.
- Right now I'm having amnesia and deja vu at the same time. I think I've forgotten this before.
- Spontaneity is good as long as it is controlled.
- Stop stabbing yourself in the back. -- Judith Briles
- Success consists of going from failure to failure without loss of enthusiasm. -- Winston Churchill
- Talk less. Say more.
- The more I know, the more I know I don't know!
- The way to succeed is to double your error rate. -- Thomas J. Watson
- This report is filled with omissions.
- To lead the people, walk behind them. -- Lao-Tzu
- We are not anticipating any emergencies.
- We are ready for any unforeseen event that may or may not occur.
- What did I tell you last time about not listening?
- When asked how to achieve success more rapidly, came the quick reply, 'Double your failure rate'. -- Thomas J. Watson, Sr.
- You fail to overlook the crucial point. -- Samuel Goldwyn
- You have to be clever to know that you're dumb!
- You win big when you lose right.
Society & Culture- An Irishman is never at peace except when he's fighting.
- Cowards die many times before their deaths. -- William Shakespeare
- Every generation laughs at the old fashions, but follows religiously the new. -- Henry Thoreau
- Hegel was right when he said that we learn from history that man can never learn anything from history. -- George Bernard Shaw
- I love humanity but I hate people. -- Edna St. Vincent Millay
- I'd kill for a Nobel Peace Prize.
- Why are the paranoids following me?
- You non-conformists are all the same. -- Muse (UK rock band) in their song
- You're only young forever once. -- 'Newcastle' movie
Technology- Click the 'Start' button to Shut Down the computer.
- Keyboard Error. Press any key to continue...
- Why don't they make the whole airplane out of that black box stuff? -- Steven Wright
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